Friday, August 29, 2014

Lactated Ringer's...

Surgeons love lactated Ringer's solution (it's an IV fluid). I recently asked one of them what the composition of it was and they stared blankly at me, prompting this text to my coworkers.


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Writing competition

Fizzy has asked me to post a link here for something that I think is a great idea.  She is hosting her own writing competition with the prize being a $25 gift certificate on Amazon.

Please head over and read about it here:  http://doccartoon.blogspot.com/2014/08/writing-contest.html

The only real qualification is that it have some kind of medical humor element, but it is open to everyone with a story to tell.  Share it with anyone you think might be interested.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Perks of the job...

These people exist. I have to deal with them. Think about that the next time you hear stories about unhappy patients and patient satisfaction scores.

                                           

                                                  

                                                     



Monday, August 25, 2014

What a pleasant patient...(guest submission)

Had a patient recently extubated after being found down in a parking lot, after being discharged for an ETOH (alcohol intoxication) admission for the 38th time this year. He was mother effing everyone and every thing, asking nurses if they'd even been to school, ranting about the "Indian" doctors with the "get ups" on their heads.

After taking this abuse for a 12 hour shift, at 6:50 pm I was returning to the unit with blood for another patient, and watched Mr. ETOH carry my uneaten lunch from the refrigerator into his room. I marched in after him, said "yea, this is mine, I'll take it now", to which he responded, "effing fatass, you don't need it anyway."

Submitted by Jenny Lynn.

Friday, August 22, 2014

A bit premature...

Patient:  "Well, I was having diarrhea, but that seems to have stopped."

A terrible rumbling sound comes from his abdomen followed by a loud, wet fart and a noxious smell.

Patient:  "Perhaps that last statement was a little premature."

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Word games...

Wife: "So it's fictitional?"

Me: "Much like that word, yes."

Monday, August 18, 2014

34G...

Patient:  "I've had chronic back pain for years.  No one can tell me why."

Me:  "Have you ever had any surgeries before?"

Patient:  "I've had four breast augmentations."

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