This alternatively could be titled, "How I know you're a drug-seeker."
Patient: "The only thing that works for my pain is Demerol 75 milligrams mixed with two mgs of Ativan and 25 mg of Phenergan rapid i.v. push, with 50 mg of Benadryl given 10 minutes later to prevent itching."
That is a real quote.
The classic of course is, "I'm allergic to everything but Dilaudid." I did have a patient tell me once that she was also allergic to Dilaudid given slowly, it had to be pushed quickly.