Let's be honest a second...family and friends really serve one vital purpose in life: to help us out when we need it. Sure, that's a very basic, evolutionary perspective, but we all know there are reasons we keep people around other than their ability to provide for us. However, there comes a time when their true purpose becomes evident; some people just don't like to see it in such a basic manner.
Me: "We don't have a reason to keep you here any longer."
Patient: "Well, who is going to take care of me when I go home?"
Me: "Don't you have friends? Family?"
Patient: "Well, yes."
Me: "I think it's time they stepped up, then."
Patient: "Well, they're not going to like that very much."
#theydon'thavetolikeit
4 comments:
That is really sad. Family should be there for you in the good and bad times.
As if anybody truly likes having to care for a sick relative or friend! I can think of a hundred things I'd rather do. Surprise: life sometimes includes things we don't like.
I hope this patient is just one of those folks who hates being a bother to anyone and exaggerates the difficulty/impropriety of asking for help, rather than someone whose "friends" are selfish jerks.
So what would you do if that patient said nom they don't have anyone? Apart from have someone call a cab.
I ask because I'm also genuinely curious id I'm alone in this or what. I'm in my early 20s with multiple severe chronic illnesses (TPN dependent, on disability, can't drive, etc, etc) and I come from a screwed up family (thank G-d I somehow inherited some recessive sanity gene somewhere!) and moved shortly before getting sick which means I never got much time to make friends and uh, good luck finding 20-something's who have half a clue how to cope with a sick friend who can't even eat let alone go drinking and partying and all. So 99% of the time when I'm in the ER or hospital that's my exact concern. I've even been kept for days trying to figure options out. I imagine it's rare, especially for someone my age. I know doctors and nurses are astounded or at points don't believe me (until someone calls up my mother who flat out refuses to pick me up or anything) Sometimes I'll go through the motions of calling the maybe 2-3 people I even have to call and of course they're always too busy or whatever. You're probably thinking I'm sure not a patient you'd want to see! Most of the time I deal with it but if I'm really sick well, everyone is stuck and I'm in tears and social work gets called, blah blah but social work can't magically pull people out of the woodwork to care for you....
And I'm rambling now but seriously, just wondering how you deal with that or moreso how often you see situations like mine. I'd guess it's more common with elderly people and even then... I get commended for my strength and sanity it in it all, but I'm not always strong or able to do it all on my own. I hope that it's rare for others to be in this kind of situation.
And btw, enjoying your blog. If I wasn't sick I'd go into some sort of medical field (guess I'm crazy after all? :P ) and heck even from my end of being a frequent patient, I could write a blog on crazy things I've witnessed or overheard! Docs definitely have my respect.
We try and assist, but the bottom-line is that we mostly can't fix social situations. You're mainly on your own once you're out of the hospital unless we can arrange some sort of follow-up.
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