Friday, September 14, 2012

Liberal arts degree...

My partner:  "how long can you detect cocaine in a patient's system."

Me:  "By urine drug screen, about 2-3 days.  By hair, up to six months."

Partner:  "And ecstasy?"

Me:  "Not detected in standard drug tests, but I think our new urine test can detect it.  At any rate, you're better off looking for stuff it's cut with, usually heroin or meth/speed.  Ecstasy took a big hit after 9/11 because it was brought in primarily by being smuggled by air, so now they make knock-offs and cut it with whatever crap they have lying around that's cheap."

Nurse:  "How do you know so much about drugs?"

Me:  "When I started medical school I had white hair and tongue and nipple rings."

Nurse:  "Well, still that doesn't..."

Me:  "My first week of college, I was at a party and a guy did a line of coke off my arm in the middle of a room of about 50 people and no one even paused their conversations to take notice."

Nurse:  "Ooohhh."

#veryliberaleducation

7 comments:

Lisa said...

Oh great, so I'm going to interview a new cardiologist in 10 minutes and now I'm going to wonder if he's a crack head...Happy weekend.

Anonymous said...

LOL ^^^^
#thingsbloggerssay

thethingspatientssay said...

I saw as much drugs or more in medical school. Lots of those people went into anesthesia. Think about that when they're putting you under next time ;)

Allison said...

In anatomy lab, kids were talking about how they needed adderoll for this weekend for head and neck. "we have that many students with ADD?" I asked. They all started laughing. So, that's embarrassing.

Lisa said...

Yeah, you are rocking my faith here. New cardiologist has me scheduled for surgery in a few weeks.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lisa,
what as patients can we possibly do.(?)
When he/she draws our blood for some test....perhaps, can we demand some of theirs as well for a drug test (?):}
Let's just hope hospitals do this on a regular basis on your behalf.


Question for you, Doc....do they (?)
#thingsbloggerssay

thethingspatientssay said...

Random drug tests, though I've never been selected at this hospital. I was at my last one.

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